Yes- I chose the word 'realizing' because my name is right there in the middle of it. reaLIZing. Yes- it's brilliant. and Yes- I've just realized that I'm revealing my sad, sad sense of humor to the world. But I'm really am trying to do more than that. I'm trying to realize, actualize, whatever - I want to live out my faith. I want to be transformed. I don't want to have splintered allegiances- I want to honestly and completely be dedicated to the Lord.
And so we begin.
But we have to begin with brokenness because I try really hard to accomplish all of this 'dedication' on my own. Communion with God is a gift. It's all a gift. Everything is grace, and my struggle to achieve and deserve and improve is sad and ironic on its own...
So here is my prayer -
HOLY SONNETS.
John Donne
XIV.
Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
